Hi baby!

Hi baby!!!!! yipes its been awhile since ive been on here :/ sorreh :] Weeelp YOU are at work right now and I am procrastinating (<-- help) And by procrastinating I mean- wait no im procrastinating. But its for an amazing cause! (you) Hmmm where to start where to start... Ok baby first I'm really glad you realized how and when to be "selfish" and in all reality your not being selfish because when you are not being what you define as selfish, you are being selfless. I don't think i need to use examples baby you know how you are. But doing things for yourself is not quite as selfish as you may think(INO! just wait ill explain). Maybe you are doing them for selfish reasons but they usually are not selfish acts. Just think about that for awhile. Yes not making your dad a sandwhich would be considered selfish by him but sitting in front of the tv playing video games with me on your day off is completly reasonable. Especially because your spending time with me and not doing things for him, which is really valuable. Whether you would do the same with me not there i dont know but in that instance I really appreciated your decision. Then i felt way too guilty for him. woops. but we made it together which still counts. Now you must be thinking that I am also selfish. Maybe i am, i dont know i dont really care. Nobody really cares anywho because it only affects us. In a positive way. So basically what im saying in a strange, unidentifiable way is that I'm selfish sometimes, and so are you but doing things for yourself is not by any means selfish. I dont really feel like explaining because i wanna switch subjects. But ya baby,
like you said, doing things for yourself is a neccesity in this world/way of living.
Ok i really dont like what this next paragraph is about and i know you dont either but i need to say it because it's not fair to me. Dont worry i have a random happy paragraph after this one that you can look forward to. Just get through it and understand where im coming from.
Baby i already mentioned this but im going to say it in another way. When you become upset with me put yourself in my shoes. When have i ever tried to upset you? Why would I? When you become upset with me you say dangerous things that are really hurtful to me. Sometimes i say things that may sound like i dont think about them before i say them. But I ALWAYS think about what i mean, i cant always find the correct words to describe to you what i mean. Next time just tell me to explain, I hope you know i will clear it up. I can't just forget about what you say to me.I need to bring this up and get it out of the way and i did but i want to make sure that you know that it does hurt me. Just something to save for the future. Can we talk about this tonight?
Now for the transition. 1. Don't worry or over think this ^ I just want to talk to you about it. Its not a problem because it doesnt happen often and we always work through it. 2. I know you know i care for you because its evident in my speech and actions which (you being the anaylist you are) you easily pick up on. But I'll say it plainly. Baby I care for you so much. I'm so lucky to have you. Look at todays secret.
Okay now onto my favorite subject- YOU! When I look at you I have the urge to sing aloud. Like any random happy song that pops into my head. Even if its not happy it gets turned into a happy song because of my mood. its like as soon as i see you and know that i get to come up to you and talk to you or hold your hand or kiss you or hug you or something i have the best feeling inside me. It's actually foreign to me because I do things to be around you that if i did to be around one of my friends i would strongly question myself. They would probably question me too. But anyways Everyday i begin thinking about seeing you after second period midpoint through 1st period, not because it gives me something to think about, I have You to think about. I always start off thinking about you with the thought of how i saw you last. Today it was at your car, you had your red target shirt(long sleeve) on, the khacky pants(yea you were right theyr khacky), and your favorite overcoat jacket thing with the skirt thing(iono but it looks really great on you). I just remember you leaning into your car about to step in, rushing because you were running out of time. and then i think back to what we did. Rushing to your car, back through the door, up the stairs, into your room where i found you a jacket even though you didnt want to wear the white one because of the fuzzies. Good thing you grabbed the overcoat jacket thing with the skirt thing because you might have been cold. While you were in the bathroom a grabbed you a pair of socks and stuffed them under the bathroom door even i knew you could have just as easily put them on on your bed. Back into bed we go and the beating heart in my throat that is our dissapearing time slowly lowers as we keep moving backwards in our day. Your phone goes off but you turn it off and continue to lay with me. I didnt want you to go to work either. Back to me rubbing your back and then us being close. Closer than just relaxed together. Even though it was kindof an accident.. Woops(not the first time though). Then to sleep. Those damn dishes are so annoying. Who wants to waste 20 minutes on them anyways. Who wants to hear about wasting 20 mins on them? Not you :) At least we got to do them together. *heart*. Back into bed. Annoyed and unwanting. turn that alarm off again :) much more relaxed and tired. Although we didnt sleep at all... Baby this is what goes through my head pretty much all day :) when i say im thinking about you this is what i mean. I basically relive all the moments we share together and somehow get free emotions from them. Good ones. AMAZING ones. Today it was that normal jacket and then the puffy winter jacket. IM NOT A STALKER!!!! ok maybe a little. :)

Todays Secret:
To an ocean that is this world, you are just another boat floating atop its swells. But to me you are the boat keeping me afloat, keeping me from sinking to its depths with all the others who know no such grace as yours.

Check out this video. It was really cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6sx0s4sRwo