Merry Christmas!!!!

Well, when I was little I believed Christmas wasn't Christmas without the expensive presents and santa and the tree and the whole bit. Starting from two years ago I really started understanding that Christmas is about spending time with people you care about. In a way it is about the gifts also. Well, giving gifts. Last Christmas my grandfather passed away 2 days before Christmas and that was the most miserable christmas i had ever spent. A person whom I loved with all my heart and cared about had passed away and I wanst able to be around him during the time that i wanted to. It was really difficult because he really made Christmas Christmas for me. He was the one paying attention to every detail of the presents he wrapped, he would even make his own cards. Seeing how joyful he was around Christmas really made Christmas what it used to be. Yea, it will never be the same without him because he had a place that nobody could take or fill. So on this Christmas day I am thankful for all the time i was able to spend with him and everything he did for me. I am thankful for all the interactions we had and everything we did together. I am sad to be writing this because I really miss your presence this Christmas. Everybody does. Merry Christmas Grampy.

I am thankful for you, Hale. I am so very thankful for you. Spending christmas with you was and is amazing. You are such a wonderful person and I care about you so much. I am constantly being surprised and put in awe of the many positive attributes you have. You are so special to me and I am extremly happy that I was able to spend Christmas with you. But not just Christmas, every moment we spend together is special to me. I really treasure you and the time we spend together. Having you as a part of me is such a great feeling, its unexplainable. I honestly cannot convey to you what you mean to me. The place you have in my life is not one that can anybody else could fill and how you are as a person, what makes you-you is why I care about you so much. The way your eyes go when you smile, the way your hair flips when you flip it, the way you look at me when i say something stupid, the way you giggle, the little dance moves you do when your happy, the way you indirectly sing to me, the necklace that you have worn all your life, the way your eyes dance, the true color of your lively eyes, how cute you look when you do a nose-scrunch, how cute you look in your footie pajamas, the way your body flows together when you do something, the way you beg for me not to run my cold hands up your back, the time and effort you put into the things you do for me, your view on everything, the way you can get lost in your own world (walked outta the store with the hat, drove up to lake forest ect. <3), the way your smile lights up my life, the effect you have on me, your honest opinion, the way you flip off your dad when he leaves your room after angering you(,3), the way you are such an amazing person. I have no idea what a person such as you is doing with me but I won't ask questions. I feel weak at my knees when i think of how much i care about you and how you, as a person, have such an effect on me. I have such a desire to be with you and hold you close to feel your rythmic breathing. To have you in my life makes me feel so full. You are the most fulfilling person i know. Each time i talk to you or about you I'm left feeling something past satified. You bring me many things and one of which is hope. You give me hope that one day everything will be in order. One day i will be able to get in bed and fall directly asleep without thinking about "things" before i do. I feel as if the chance of tommorow being better than today is more than possible with you in my life. You make everthing i do worthwhile. You make me feel as though I'm rich. Laying next to you while watching some netflix is one of my favorite things to do. And thats all time favorites not things to with you or things to do when we have nothing else to do. Its when i feel rich with pleasure and joy. well I feel rich with pleasure and joy everytime I'm with you or even thinking about you. you mean so much to me Hale. I heart you sooo much! Ok I has to go to your house soon to experience all of this ^ :) yayay!