Strange going-ons

Well since you went to sleep early (hopefully cause youre dead tired and not had a bad day) im going to talk you, as if im instant messaging you except you cant type back. So I wanna start out with this- i was eating pizza (yeah we had it again) and watching tv about 10 mins ago (10oclock) and got a wierd feeling.. Its kindof a long story so bear with me. My dad was being himself this morning and heres what happened. Appreeantly there was a bunch of mouse poo like all over our counter and on the floor and when they woke up they freaked. Ronny as in "disinfect call exterminator" dad as in">:( why does everything in this house have to be MY responsibility blah blah blah" and ronny exploded on him.. he desereved it. then ronny stayed home all day cleaning the whole house with bleach and did an amazing job. Shes the type of person where heres the problem heres the solution, dad is like heres the problem why do i have to have this problem why cant it all be perfect this cant be my fault everything sucks. so when i got home before rop ronny greeted me and i said hi and she exlained everything qabout the mice (not my dad)then i went in to the garage and was putting my helmet back together (i washed the pads in it) when she came in and was like we need to talk.. I was like alright and she was like ok well im not upset with you or mad at you and i was like o well is there anything im doing that makes uncomforatble or that i do to tbe better is there anything? "nope" okay. "okay were good right?" yeah. then she started talking to me about dad and what happened that mmorning and some other stuff. so then my dad got home and iono i guess he apologized and it was all okay and he was totally fine until he was putting in a new better sealing dog door (to keep mice out)and asked me where the drill was. (I had been working for him for about 2.5 hours at that point) i told him it was at work where WE last used it. He asked me to bring it in to do something to the boat and we never brought it back. So he mood quickly swung and he was dronging on about why everyhting is his responsibiblty but honestly im not at his work very often. So then he made it my problem and asked if mom(teri)had one he could borrow. I said i didn know and that he should call and find out. He was appalled that i had asked him to do that so i suggested that i call and he just angrily muttered while walking to the garage door then yells i know you dont care if the door stays unlocked for 24 hours but i do and slams the door. at this point i was pretty confused and angry. for one i felt that this treatment was unfair to me and 2 i am getting more annoyed everytime i feel like i have to do something for him. So 5 minutes later he comes back in and im like dammit.. and he goes to my stuff and grabs a piece of wood and joyfully says im going to cut this and use it as a dowel to lock the door. So 5 mins he comes back with his measured chunk of wood and asks me to cut it so i did without saying anything and handed him the cut piece. thanks he said and left. I wasnt having one of my best nights. Ive gotten so used to me "taking care of him" that its an annoyance. I can even finish his sentances better than he can. and he always asks me to something by saying this-"hey joe we need to move ronny's car or yeah we should go clean that up." thats pretty annyoing i must say.. But getting to the wierd thing. Every so often i keep get the feeling that something outside the walls of MY DADS house wants to harm me. Like really harm me. I dont know why but not kill me just bring permanent harm to me. There are many nights where i sit and think about who could want revenge against him or feel like theres something he just hasnt told anyone. The strange part is that i got that feeling tonight. Except this time its a sinking feeling in my stomach and everytime i go into my room i close the blinds and check the locks becuase i dont know whats out there. the scariest part for me when i go out into the darkensss(when i do) is the transition from light to dark. There are people like me that enjoy the dark but they are already in the dark waiting for me to be helpless in the short transition. Meh im tired but i dont want to sleep tonight. I wish you were here with me in my bed to help forget about everything. I know you wish the same. We are alike. Very much alike in many ways. In other ways we are different. not a seperating different, just an enjoyable change of taste different. I suppose i should go to bed. im pretty tired. I did alot of work today though. as soon as i got home from rop i worked on the quad until i ate pizza about an hour ago. Wow ive been typing for an hour. thats good. that means ive been thinking for about 45 mins(about you) which makes the pit in my stomach go away. Sometimes i really dont like where im at. hopefully tommrow will be better to me. the song summarizes my night. I can explain later it all later. Goodnight my sweet baby.

Secret:I gave up tongiht as soon as i knew you were asleep.
song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-Q5t4Q26o0