Spectrum Security

This is more of a securirty bash due to a recent run-in. I'm just going to talk shit on them and what kind of people they are. So you want to be a mall cop do ya? your training will consist of the most difficult tasks you have ever attempted to accomplish. Take this pen, sign here, sign here, initial and date. Alright here's your plastic badge and a belt with pockets so you can carry a radio and a flashlight so you all can talk to each other. Also, here's a nightstick but it's just for looks, if you use it you could be arrested by a real police officer. Well your just about set. Oh yeah, umm it's securtiy tradition to be a complete stickler, so if you get an opportunity to hassle somebody dont be afraid to. Alright go out in your Toyota highlander and try to look official.

Play this in another window while you read- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iISyPz5XRyI



Mall cop- "My name is Erin and I am a security officer at the Irvine Spectrum Center"
Camera guy- "What does a typical Saturday night look like for you Erin?"
Mall cop- "Well I usually encounter about 1-2 perpentrators at least every Saturday. They can be anywhere from age 12 to 17. Why don't you come along with us tonight maybe well see some action."

later that night

Camera guy- "hm tonights pretty slow eh?"

Mall cop- "oh no I got 2 cars towed and warned a man who was double parking of the consequenses, you must have missed it."

Camera guy- "well its getting late there's really nobody left here, im going to go home, alri-" (loud frantic radio chatter)
"Calling other mall cop, calling other mall cop, over! I,ve got two juviniles suspects having sex in the backseat of a honda civic, i saw her boob! requesting back up immediatly repeat immediatly, this kid looks pissed off"

Mall cop- "holy shit Marks life is on the line! get in the highlander!"

(speeds towards location but still obeying stop signs and speed limits)
(arrives to a VERY nervous and sweaty Mark holding kids at flashlight-point)

Erin-"are you getting this?! are you getting this?!"

Camera guy-"um yeah"

Erin-"FREEZE scumbag!step the fuck away from that car!"

Mark- "I got the girl, I got the girl!"

Erin- "If you 2 dont cooperate ill be forced to call the police"

Erin-"Now don't lie to me, what were you doing in the back of that car?"

Joe- "We were just kissing sir"

Erin- "I SAID DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME!!"

Erin- "AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SITTING DOWN? GET THE FUCK UP"

Hale- "(confused) umm ok jeeze"

Mark- "Now you tell me what were you doing in the back of that car?"

Hale- "We were just kissing"

Mark- "LOOK I SAW SOMETHING DONT FUCKING LIE TO ME! THIS ISN'T A GAME"

Erin- "Look were going to have to call your parents and let them know of this occurance"

Erin- (on phone) "yes we caught your daughter and her bf having sexual intercourse in the backseat of her car, i recommend a hiv/aids test."

Joe/Hale- "omfg"

Erin- "alright you two have a safe trip home now"

Joe/Hale- >:[

Mark to Erin- "oh my god did you see that?! did you see that?! I think i saw her boob!"

Erin to camera guy- "Yeah, its a thankless job but somebody has to do it. There are so many bad characters in this part of Irvine, I'm just thankful there's two of us here to protect and preserve the integrety of his mall."

Camera guy- "ok shut the fuck up, you did nothing but ruin peoples halloween and hassle two kids. If this tape was to be aired, people would think it was a joke. You two are pathetic."

4 weeks later: Joe- "hey hale, I got my test back but.. it came back positive, they say i have H.I.V. and apparently theres no cure. They say the more I'm around you the worse it gets. But strangly i feel all warm inside all the time. :)" wanna know a secret? You are the only person i would ever want in my veins and I'm glad youre in them <3