This was for you

I sit out here all alone,
Gazing past the crowds to a place beyond.
Looking at whose eyes shown,
Sitting alone from dusk to dawn.
As the world turns round I watch
People living lives so lost
Time ticks away with the clocks



I wait here all alone
Gazing through the crowds
For one to change it all.
Take your time it’s okay,
I’ll be listening for your call each day.
Look for the one staring out,
The one lost in doubt.


As the people surround,
we watch the world turn round,
we see the sky fall down,
But we stand wearing the crown.


I’m found here now,
We both stare past.
Lets take a bow,
Time's moving fast.
Nothing is said,
only things seen
Much less ahead,
Were safe in between.


So lets hold each other tight,
Until we see the bright light.
And forget the rest.
Just stay pressed against my chest,
And look into my eyes,
So you wont hear the cries,
of those who don't trust,
in me and you together, in us

Hi baby


For some reason my phone isnt working or something i tried txting you 3x and i called 2x but you dont seem to get any of them.. Anyways well have to figure that out, but I'm thinking about you and hearting you here, well anywhere.. Anyways, I know you enjoy reading things that are written for you and i wrote this for you and i hope it brings a smile to your lips or a warmness inside.
I really like the band thrice and they came out with this song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZUG_3JVgXs

i really like the acoustic version of it.. Maybe you will too. I'm sure you'll like the lyrics though

http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/thrice/stareatthesun.html

Secret: You are honestly all I think about when I'm alone. Whether I'm behind closed doors or under a car, if I'm alone I'm completely focused on you. Even when I'm around other people with distractions your presence is still inside me!!! With each other we can make it through anything<3

I heart you baby, I'm gonna crash. <3

Calling all Pooka's

Okay to start off i have to talk about the little things you do. I really like it when you call me pooka. Alot. And even though i might act embarrassed or have a strange reaction to when you say it around other people, i really do like it because it makes me feel special. btw I've been trying to come up with a good nickname for you but because your so complex its really difficult. But don't worry it will come eventually. Also when i was talking to your mom i kept thinking about how special you are and what your mom would think if she was inside my head.. I really like how its okay that i came with you to the doctors, because my parents would think it was weird if you came with me. Well depends on the circumstance. I could sense the tension between you and your mom when you said you were going alone. Shes pretty persistent though and im sure she caught on. I have a feeling she already knows what were doing or at least has an idea. anywhays, I'm laying here in bed thinking about you and how your doing. I wish i could tuck you into bed and give a good goodnight kiss. then crawl in next to you. Sometimes i get so excited because i get the feeling that im going to get to fall asleep with you some nights but then when i start thinking about it i realize that you have to go home. this is going to sound strange but im sure you could tell- im actually having fun helping you pick out your bikini top and bottoms. It really made me enjoy picking out clothes and i think next time i go shopping im going to do it online (better prices/selection)and put alot more effort into my outfits. I think we could have fun with that. I was looking around today for some boardshorts but i really couldnt find any i liked, so well have to walk through pacsun,jacks surf shop,that place at the district, or something along those lines and pick somthing out. sound kewl? balls i should probalby go to sleep sometime soon.. I could sit here and type about anything and everything that has to do with us forever. but yeah i had a really fun time laughing and being with you today. I keep seeing other "new" couples around school and stuff and i always get so happy because we have so much more than they do and we have all these secret inside jokes and were always laughing at random things. Just look how happy we are!! even when things dont go our way. This last week was problably one of our worst weeks--not in our relationship, more just in general.. not a very good week but we just danced right through it and look where we are now!! Its nice when things change. shoot okay i broke my own curfew :) i gots to go before i yell at myself :) goodnight azizam ill cya tommorow <3

secret--sometimes i feel mentally retarded(deservingly) when i say something and you blankly stare at me as if to say ill let you take it back but you only have a couple of seconds before I say something so hurry up and change it. :) its really funny

Hello old friend :)

^thats me talking to blogger. I've been away for awhile i know.. Just a re-cap of today! You cameover today for awhile to do some hw. This task in itself is somewhat unbelievable because knowing us, there is no way that we could get ANYTHING done together. Somehow we did. Well after some pouting and kissing and some more pouting we did. I even got my room cleaner!!!! Whenever you are doing hw or on the computer or txting or something, when your trying to concentrate, I say funny things in an attempt to get you to smile and i always feel so good when i see a little smirk stretch over your face. That happened a few times today and it was nice to see. You wanna know something really funny that i keep thinking about? okay here it goes. Remember today when you were like (taunting/jokingly) this is what my mom makes and yours microwaves frozen ones of this lol(lasagna). Well I got kindof sad right away because its so true lol. Your family makes the most amazing food!! I keep laughing to myself about it because your mom just whipped it up after school (like she always does) and my mom wastes like half of today on that shitty roast that tasted like cardboard. Your mom is a good cook--*jealous* did i ever tell you that you are too? you can make so much stuffs. I get so impressed when you marinade the chicken/meat, or when we eat chicken or meat because i know like half the time(if not all of it) its you who basically prepared it.Cooking is a great quality of yours. You know what else is a great quality of yours?
*Your a very giving and generous person. In sooo many ways. Oh you want examples? okay :)
You're always giving people your time, which is pretty valuable. You have run countless errands for you family especially your sister and dad. (I have no idea why)
You will always take extra time to help somebody understand something. You always go into detail with people when they dont understand.
You are not easily annoyed :) i can sit there all day and do pretty much whatever i want to you (except cut off a lock of your hair) and you will not get annoyed. I can't imagine how you deal with your target customers either.. Theyr probably worse than me. Which brings me to my next point.
*You are so damn responsible! Baby you are more responsible than a lot of adults are. Think about it. You work hard at school. You are always doing your homework and keeping after yourself to do better. You deserved every bit of that hug and praise that your dad gave your for grades. You have really hard classes. Not compared to me, compared to normal students at uni. I dont remember if i told you, but I'm proud of how well you do in school. You work hard at work too. How many times have you been late? Once? You were keeping up with 20 hours a week baby!!!!!! even 14 hours a week and school is a lot to handle for a person. in health my teacher asked us if we worked and the person who worked the most in our class worked 12 hours a week and was talking about how stressful it is. I was like laughing to myself knowing my baby worked 20 hours a week and still had time for me! She even sells red cards sometimes! He worked at jamba juice or something easy. Dealing with people especially socal people is not by any means easy like basically what your job is plus a few more annoying complications, I know you know that.
*Baby you have so many amazing traits about you that just draw me closer and keep me in awe of you. Theres no way i could name all of them because theres ones like the one below this that have as much as impact on the people around you as the first couple do. You are purely amazing and you have soooooo many things going for you baby. I'm so happy to be with you and around you. I value having you in my life more than you know baby.
*If you get hurt you don't complain, and if you do complain its because you're seriously hurt. Through all my headbanging, gut crushing, wrist breaking ninja moves your are still somehow alive. :)

**What other guy gets to play video games with his girlfriend? enough said.

YOU, that's right baby you, Bubble, are an amazing person who will continue to amaze the people around you with her constant giggling and sound effects. Look out world because here comes BUBBLE (buh-buhl)

I'm not even gonna reread it because i want you to see it in raw form. Imma go find ya a video!
okay here this is to you because every time I'm on the computer and i think about you i always sing along to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GuX-F08fwI

Today's secret: I don't tell you this enough but you alone are amazing Bubble, you don't need any person but yourself to be amazing. You are composed of so many qualities, experiences, thoughts, and emotions that have created who you are. you have had such an impact on my life. No matter what turns our lives take please don't ever change.

Hi baby!

Hi baby!!!!! yipes its been awhile since ive been on here :/ sorreh :] Weeelp YOU are at work right now and I am procrastinating (<-- help) And by procrastinating I mean- wait no im procrastinating. But its for an amazing cause! (you) Hmmm where to start where to start... Ok baby first I'm really glad you realized how and when to be "selfish" and in all reality your not being selfish because when you are not being what you define as selfish, you are being selfless. I don't think i need to use examples baby you know how you are. But doing things for yourself is not quite as selfish as you may think(INO! just wait ill explain). Maybe you are doing them for selfish reasons but they usually are not selfish acts. Just think about that for awhile. Yes not making your dad a sandwhich would be considered selfish by him but sitting in front of the tv playing video games with me on your day off is completly reasonable. Especially because your spending time with me and not doing things for him, which is really valuable. Whether you would do the same with me not there i dont know but in that instance I really appreciated your decision. Then i felt way too guilty for him. woops. but we made it together which still counts. Now you must be thinking that I am also selfish. Maybe i am, i dont know i dont really care. Nobody really cares anywho because it only affects us. In a positive way. So basically what im saying in a strange, unidentifiable way is that I'm selfish sometimes, and so are you but doing things for yourself is not by any means selfish. I dont really feel like explaining because i wanna switch subjects. But ya baby,
like you said, doing things for yourself is a neccesity in this world/way of living.
Ok i really dont like what this next paragraph is about and i know you dont either but i need to say it because it's not fair to me. Dont worry i have a random happy paragraph after this one that you can look forward to. Just get through it and understand where im coming from.
Baby i already mentioned this but im going to say it in another way. When you become upset with me put yourself in my shoes. When have i ever tried to upset you? Why would I? When you become upset with me you say dangerous things that are really hurtful to me. Sometimes i say things that may sound like i dont think about them before i say them. But I ALWAYS think about what i mean, i cant always find the correct words to describe to you what i mean. Next time just tell me to explain, I hope you know i will clear it up. I can't just forget about what you say to me.I need to bring this up and get it out of the way and i did but i want to make sure that you know that it does hurt me. Just something to save for the future. Can we talk about this tonight?
Now for the transition. 1. Don't worry or over think this ^ I just want to talk to you about it. Its not a problem because it doesnt happen often and we always work through it. 2. I know you know i care for you because its evident in my speech and actions which (you being the anaylist you are) you easily pick up on. But I'll say it plainly. Baby I care for you so much. I'm so lucky to have you. Look at todays secret.
Okay now onto my favorite subject- YOU! When I look at you I have the urge to sing aloud. Like any random happy song that pops into my head. Even if its not happy it gets turned into a happy song because of my mood. its like as soon as i see you and know that i get to come up to you and talk to you or hold your hand or kiss you or hug you or something i have the best feeling inside me. It's actually foreign to me because I do things to be around you that if i did to be around one of my friends i would strongly question myself. They would probably question me too. But anyways Everyday i begin thinking about seeing you after second period midpoint through 1st period, not because it gives me something to think about, I have You to think about. I always start off thinking about you with the thought of how i saw you last. Today it was at your car, you had your red target shirt(long sleeve) on, the khacky pants(yea you were right theyr khacky), and your favorite overcoat jacket thing with the skirt thing(iono but it looks really great on you). I just remember you leaning into your car about to step in, rushing because you were running out of time. and then i think back to what we did. Rushing to your car, back through the door, up the stairs, into your room where i found you a jacket even though you didnt want to wear the white one because of the fuzzies. Good thing you grabbed the overcoat jacket thing with the skirt thing because you might have been cold. While you were in the bathroom a grabbed you a pair of socks and stuffed them under the bathroom door even i knew you could have just as easily put them on on your bed. Back into bed we go and the beating heart in my throat that is our dissapearing time slowly lowers as we keep moving backwards in our day. Your phone goes off but you turn it off and continue to lay with me. I didnt want you to go to work either. Back to me rubbing your back and then us being close. Closer than just relaxed together. Even though it was kindof an accident.. Woops(not the first time though). Then to sleep. Those damn dishes are so annoying. Who wants to waste 20 minutes on them anyways. Who wants to hear about wasting 20 mins on them? Not you :) At least we got to do them together. *heart*. Back into bed. Annoyed and unwanting. turn that alarm off again :) much more relaxed and tired. Although we didnt sleep at all... Baby this is what goes through my head pretty much all day :) when i say im thinking about you this is what i mean. I basically relive all the moments we share together and somehow get free emotions from them. Good ones. AMAZING ones. Today it was that normal jacket and then the puffy winter jacket. IM NOT A STALKER!!!! ok maybe a little. :)

Todays Secret:
To an ocean that is this world, you are just another boat floating atop its swells. But to me you are the boat keeping me afloat, keeping me from sinking to its depths with all the others who know no such grace as yours.

Check out this video. It was really cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6sx0s4sRwo

Today WAS FUNNN!!!!!

Hey cutie just lettin ya know that today, i enjoyed every aspect of what we did especially the video games at the end <3 sleeping all day and not doing anything was the greatest with you :)

Todays secret: I think my favorite part about today besides knowing that i took you all the way there (YOU know) (< btw it was kindof hard to tell if you enjoyed it, i really hope you did) was either looking at your face when the fisherman from jaws died :] or my hopeless attempts at protecting you from the aliens and then would die and you come resue me :) although your impersonations of ThE DaRkNesS were priceless XD

<3 Joe

your video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXEq7WiINa4

this is to let you know that im practicing it :)

Merry Christmas!!!!

Well, when I was little I believed Christmas wasn't Christmas without the expensive presents and santa and the tree and the whole bit. Starting from two years ago I really started understanding that Christmas is about spending time with people you care about. In a way it is about the gifts also. Well, giving gifts. Last Christmas my grandfather passed away 2 days before Christmas and that was the most miserable christmas i had ever spent. A person whom I loved with all my heart and cared about had passed away and I wanst able to be around him during the time that i wanted to. It was really difficult because he really made Christmas Christmas for me. He was the one paying attention to every detail of the presents he wrapped, he would even make his own cards. Seeing how joyful he was around Christmas really made Christmas what it used to be. Yea, it will never be the same without him because he had a place that nobody could take or fill. So on this Christmas day I am thankful for all the time i was able to spend with him and everything he did for me. I am thankful for all the interactions we had and everything we did together. I am sad to be writing this because I really miss your presence this Christmas. Everybody does. Merry Christmas Grampy.

I am thankful for you, Hale. I am so very thankful for you. Spending christmas with you was and is amazing. You are such a wonderful person and I care about you so much. I am constantly being surprised and put in awe of the many positive attributes you have. You are so special to me and I am extremly happy that I was able to spend Christmas with you. But not just Christmas, every moment we spend together is special to me. I really treasure you and the time we spend together. Having you as a part of me is such a great feeling, its unexplainable. I honestly cannot convey to you what you mean to me. The place you have in my life is not one that can anybody else could fill and how you are as a person, what makes you-you is why I care about you so much. The way your eyes go when you smile, the way your hair flips when you flip it, the way you look at me when i say something stupid, the way you giggle, the little dance moves you do when your happy, the way you indirectly sing to me, the necklace that you have worn all your life, the way your eyes dance, the true color of your lively eyes, how cute you look when you do a nose-scrunch, how cute you look in your footie pajamas, the way your body flows together when you do something, the way you beg for me not to run my cold hands up your back, the time and effort you put into the things you do for me, your view on everything, the way you can get lost in your own world (walked outta the store with the hat, drove up to lake forest ect. <3), the way your smile lights up my life, the effect you have on me, your honest opinion, the way you flip off your dad when he leaves your room after angering you(,3), the way you are such an amazing person. I have no idea what a person such as you is doing with me but I won't ask questions. I feel weak at my knees when i think of how much i care about you and how you, as a person, have such an effect on me. I have such a desire to be with you and hold you close to feel your rythmic breathing. To have you in my life makes me feel so full. You are the most fulfilling person i know. Each time i talk to you or about you I'm left feeling something past satified. You bring me many things and one of which is hope. You give me hope that one day everything will be in order. One day i will be able to get in bed and fall directly asleep without thinking about "things" before i do. I feel as if the chance of tommorow being better than today is more than possible with you in my life. You make everthing i do worthwhile. You make me feel as though I'm rich. Laying next to you while watching some netflix is one of my favorite things to do. And thats all time favorites not things to with you or things to do when we have nothing else to do. Its when i feel rich with pleasure and joy. well I feel rich with pleasure and joy everytime I'm with you or even thinking about you. you mean so much to me Hale. I heart you sooo much! Ok I has to go to your house soon to experience all of this ^ :) yayay!

hi baby!

hi this is just a stupid post to show you how insane i am. If you didnt know i was this crazy you will now. Remember how i told you i have 3n hhours of reading left?and that i have 8-9 summaries left? i forgot to mention math hw :) im fucked. but thats ok because i want you to know that i heart you soooo much that im writing you this message instead of doing my hw and ill have to stay up super late to accomplish it but thats ok because i have you and youll be my drive to complete it. well your my drive for alot of things. :) you have that effect on me. you have a lot of effects on me. <3 okay heres the lyrics that i started writing. try to sing them in your own way and make them sound good. Voice only. next time i see you we can compare how we sing them and make it better.

Allow it to control you
Let it push you around
Hope for once you’ll be saved
Scream your lungs away
Look to the skies,
Hope you’ll be okay
Make shapes of stars,
Forget about today.

thats only the first stanza but i only want to toy with this one so far. NO EDITING just play with it with your voice. unless it something that really bothers you, then you can edit it. okay time for the idiot to start his hw <3 by baby i <3 u
secret- its not really goodbye because im still txting you but you think im doing hw >:) hehehehe :/ your going to kill me. and by kill me i hope you mean kiss me.